Coping with a Bad Breakup

Breakups can be quite traumatizing, especially after you have developed a close bond with someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The hardest part about breaking up is letting go and moving on. But you must do it.


Having others we trust to be there for us is one of our most basic needs as human beings. Most people only have a handful of people in our lives we ever really become “attached” to. So letting go of that attachment is very painful, because you’ve relied on your intimate partner for validation and support.

So, if the relationship was based on attachment, how do you detach? The best way, initially,  to un-attach yourself is to replace your ex with other people whom you care about. Spend more time with other, more supportive people in your life –  your friends, your parents & siblings, children, anyone you know and love and trust.

So go out, visit your family and friends, see someone you haven’t been in touch with for in a while, or ask a coworker out for lunch. Try to do something each day to remind yourself that your ex isn’t the only person in your life who you can feel close to and you’ll find yourself needing that person less and less each day.




It can also be helpful to get back into the dating world. You don’t necessarily have to jump right back into a new relationship right away, it’s probably not a good to try to rush love. And getting romantically involved with the wrong person might even make you miss your ex more.

But be on the lookout for new dating prospects, going out on a fun date with a new person in your life will help you shift your romantic focus away from your ex and onto new relationships you can find yourself  looking forward to having when you’re ready for them.



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